


Finding The Fight

by Lovely_Whispers



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Storm Trigger, semi canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:50:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovely_Whispers/pseuds/Lovely_Whispers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Survey Corps has been working hard to train for the upcoming war against the Titans. Eren has been busting butt dawn to dusk, but keeps catching himself losing his focus. As his superior, Levi should be paying attention to Eren, but is fighting a battle all his own. Can either man come to terms with their struggles... and sins?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dark Till Dawn: Pt 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, nor do I receive royalties for my work**  
>  Chapter warnings: Cursing and Alcohol Consumption.  
> This is Boy x Boy. Don't like, don't read. This was only meant to be a One-Shot deal, but I kinda got carried away!! I will switch between POV so that we can get an even telling of the story. In my head, neither male is submissive or otherwise outside of respect for chain of command.  
> Also note that Eren and Levi are the only ones living in the old HQ atm! Just go with it, for the sake of the fic.  
> This is my first fanfic, so please read with caution and be gentle!!  
> Enjoy~!

# Finding The Fight

##  Chapter 1

##  Dark Till Dawn

  
_**Eren's POV**_

  
In a ball on the couch with heavy blankets covering his body; Eren could relax like this for hours. It's the one thing he looks forward to in this dingy castle shared by the Survey Corps. Okay, only one other member sticks around now-a days, and probably not by choice..  
  
Thin candles are scattered around the small room, but produce little light compared to the vivid flashes he can see from the hallway. The dim lit sky shines through the late afternoon clouds, while the storm surges in a dusty-red haze. Thoughtfully, the young man reaches over the wooden table and sweeps up his steaming cup. Bad weather yields tea, and as occasion dictates, he happily succumbs to the relaxing liquid.  
  
While he soaks in the enveloping aroma, his emerald-green eyes linger towards the boarded up window clattering upstairs; nostalgia scratching at his mind. _It's been a while since it stormed this bad.._  
  
With Fall approaching quickly, the heat of the earth meets the chill of the looming air. Storms are frequent during this season, but tonight's storm is an outlier by sheer force. This is the perfect excuse to do nothing, all evening. Eren smiles to himself. He would happily take it over the intense training he's had the _utter_ pleasure of enduring, recently.  
  
Silently sipping his cup of warmth, he leans back into his seat. _Yep, doing nothing beats training by a long shot. But.. It had barely started drizzling after lunch when Levi ordered us to head back.._ "Hmph," he scoffs into his tea. _Almost a wasted day, especially by Hange's count._  
  
_...Earlier that day_  
  
"C'mon, Eren, nothing to worry about! Just don't look down!!" Hange screamed up to the boy struggling for purchase. His hands and boots slowly slipped with each passing breath. He needed to calm down enough to focus.  
  
"Why don't you come try this, then? Shouldn't I have a harness, or something?!" Eren chose that moment to take in his surroundings. Delicately perched between the mouth of an abandoned mine shaft and a sizable boulder, his arms began to quiver. The objective: to close the gap and seal the entrance. The task is clear, but..  
  
"I said DON'T look down, kid!! Geez, you'd think his hearing would work at his age. Maybe he needs more testing done, eh Levi?"  
  
Eren couldn't hear the rambling, but decided to focus his wavering attention on the small man next to Hange. He needed to gain his composure. His Captain stood firm and absolute as always, neatly tapping his foot into the gravel. His Heicho always wears that intimidating mask, but at least it's one constant in this life. Eren knows that face and is familiar with it. He welcomes the impatience with a steadying breath.  
  
"Okay, let's do this!" He signals to his superiors, and focuses on sealing the entrance around him. He is the only one who can do this. He bites down hard, drawing a crimson stream from his hand. The gap has to be filled. "..!!" The boy is wholly encased in warmth as his titan form grows to life around him. After a few moments, he gains his vision, taking in the perfect solid wall now behind him. Seconds after his realization, he feels a rush of cool air as his body is cut out of the Titan shell. "Let's go, brat. We're going back to headquarters." Levi grabs the younger man and hoists him out of the muscular skeleton.  
  
"LEEEEVIIIIII~ can't we at least go until dinner, that was so quick, I might have missed it if I blinked!!" Hange echoed against the solid wall, but her concerns were immediately thwarted. "No, the storm is coming and it will take at least an hour to get back by horse. I will not be caught in it. Let's go."  
  
_...Currently_  
  
Eren straightens up in his seat, remembering just what happened after he regained full consciousness. As he began saddling up, he noticed Levi shake, hard.. As though with fear. The thought sent chills down his own spine as he shifted uncomfortably. He'd never seen such a display from his Captain. However, no matter how many Titans he's taken down, he would never mention that out loud. _Maybe.. Levi caught a cold? Or something.._ "Hah, yeah right." He snickered sheepishly into the surrounding blankets, thinking better of the obvious pseudo truth. _Levi, the clean freak he is, would no doubt be found scrubbing a cadet's mouth with soap after a threatening sneeze! There's no way in hell he is suffering from anything less than a plague, right?_  
  
He yawns deeply, losing concern for his Captain's involuntary response. The contents of his cup have happily warmed his thoughts, allowing him to slide deeper into his makeshift blanket fort. Closing the world out, his vision darkens, encouraging him to meditate during the calm.  
  
An inverted image of what the past week has ensued flashes before his eyes, making him giggle with nervous flutters. No one should be complaining about a day off, after the kind of week he's been having!  
  
Their team would frequently start with a lazy breakfast before close combat sparring began. After Eren was either defeated by Levi or brought into an inconclusive lecture by Hange, they would move out to the training field. Once there, it would be hours of perfecting team skills and learning different formations to use during Scouting. They had run so many simulations, they started naming them using Hange's creativity. 'Operation Bean!', and 'Simulation Sky-bird!' Hange would record group movements and techniques that were either effective or needed careful reassessment. After lunch, they moved to Pixis' operations that involved different places Eren could use his Titan form to harden around. Following that, the group would either suffice to cleaning the stables, or watching Eren run laps before dinner; the latter always more entertaining to Captain Levi.  
  
That's been his daily routine for the past few weeks. Eren could feel his heart beat increase, it nearly made him sweat thinking about it. He shook his head and tilted it back, gazing up at the ceiling. _I don't want to think.. I need to relax._  
  
He closed his eyes again for a moment, and began to drift away. He could hear the rain drops above ground, their weight echoing against the castle windows. It soothed his mind enough to earn a slight smile. He's been tense lately, partly due to the exhausting training, and partly because he's carrying a weight around during the day. Not a physical mass, but something of an unspoken cancer that he definitely refused to acknowledge. Normally he can lift the weight with a snide comment or by running until his legs give out beneath him; indefinitely exhausting his body enough to limit deep thought.  
  
Recently though, he's begun wondering if he will be able to carry on much longer without giving way to his own greed. He knits his brows tight, reflecting the deep frown in his features. _Quit being so stupid, there's no time for this - we are adults preparing for war._ Through the strength of will, and maybe a bit of fear, he refrains from entertaining the deep thrumming in his heart.  
  
He'll keep it locked away until he can forget about it. That's just how it's had to be these past few years, and how it will have to be.  
  
_You're a monster. Everyone thinks it. Control your damn feelings, soldier.. They're all watching.._  
  
In light of that thought, he's thankful for this impromptu moment to collect himself. _Unlike Levi Heicho and Commander Pixis, I'm too young to drink these troubles away._ "Pfft." He spouts, _but only barely._ And with that thought, he lets the weight float away like a seemingly distant memory.  
  
  
**_Levi's POV_**  
  
  
Out the window. Back and forth. To the clock. Back and forth. Over and over again, the man tried to refocus his thoughts, but couldn't keep his mind from wandering back to his gory past. "Fucking rain, how exhausting," he sighed heavily. The window caught his attention again and he swayed for a moment, his reflection mimicking the movement.  
  
_Kami._ He knew he felt terrible, but the redness that pooled around his perfectly chrome irises screamed insanity; nearly as menacing as the screaming in his head, if he'd allow it. Levi felt for the Crystal on his desk before flopping back awkwardly upon the couch in his private quarters. His eyes stayed glued to the clouds outside as his elbows ground into his knees, forcing himself to sit upright. It's almost dinner time, but with his nerves shot, he can't bear the idea of eating.  
  
His right hand combed through silky dark hair while the other gripped his second glass of confiscated liquor. The strong taint of spirits laid heavy on his tongue, already. _Tch..This isn't going to work.._ He dug white knuckles into his palm, as though the effort could make him feel better; when not even Whiskey, could. His eyes fluttered shut with frustration. "..!"  
  
While there are seldom nights that Levi kicks himself for not pushing Eren harder, tonight is _not_ one of those nights. With the approaching storm, they had to discontinue the Titan hardening training. At least.. That's what he barked aloud to Eren, and Hange.  
  
_...Earlier_  
  
Levi brought Eren to sit down by their 3DMG, allowing him to regain his strength before the long ride back. He turned and angrily stomped through the forming puddles, hurrying to pack up all their tarps and gear. It would still take them nearly an hour to make it back to the stables, even at their moderate 35km/hr rate. He turned up his nose as he went to saddle up Eren's horse. Although astute runners, the large animals were already starting to stink from being coated with light sheets of rain.  
  
He picked up the unfamiliar reins and whispered low to the horse while walking it back to his steadying subordinate. "Shh, that-a-girl. Make sure you're gentle with him. We're already pretty sure he's a brain damaged piece of shit. Don't need any more trouble." Talking to the horses always lifted his spirit; something about the silent understanding between man and beast settled his fraying nerves. He tied her up to one of the many trees and looked around.  
  
The area near the mines was surrounded by the green giants, nearly untouched by man. It reminded him of the landscape outside the walls. The sky around them slowly becoming foggy and dark, the scenery resembling something of his cold memories. He shivered as he closed his eyes, pushing the pain down. Hange walked up and cautiously patted his shoulder. "Levi, we're all set. Is uh.. Eren ready?"  
  
He looked back over at where he left Eren. "I'm ready for a shower," the cadet replied. His subordinate was already mounted on his steed, gear packed and ready. He looks worse for wear, but able to at least make the trip back. "Let's move." They set out Westward, leaving the storm in their tracks.  
  
_...Currently_  
  
He shivered hard at the thought. Truth be told, the call he made was more so to save himself the trouble of reminiscing, rather than minding the well being of his comrades. Gripping his glass tighter and grunting in agitation, he picked himself up and walked to the door. "Like hell I'm losing another night's sleep like this." As though the lightning outside were a cue, he slammed his door open and tread down the long corridor.  
  
_to be continued..._


	2. Dark Till Dawn: Pt 2

# Finding The Fight

##  Chapter 1

##  Dark Till Dawn: Part 2

  


  
**_Eren's POV_ **

It's nearing midnight when Eren slides into his cool sheets. It seems much colder, being deeper into the basement, but he doesn't mind much. The steady sound of rain patters against the midnight shrouded castle. He pulls up the warm covers he picked out and waits for sleep to find him; a task easier said than done with his room still lit from from the hallway.

"Damn it," he slumps. Considering the consequences of leaving his warmth, he settles for a quick trot to extinguish the nuisance. As he hastily rounds the corner, his body comes in contact with a solid obstacle. He doesn't have time to analyze it before his weight is lifted from the ground, feet dangling.

Two fists balled up tight in his chest contain much flailing. He can smell strong alcohol before he focuses his eyes on the body holding him up. Realizing the situation too late, he yelps; possibly from fear, or even relief.

"Where are you going, shitty brat?" Levi wears his signature steel gaze that indicates irritation and boredom while glaring up at the boy in his grip. "C-cant..." He tries, ".. bre-" Levi immediately releases his hold and watches the boy fall, only to catch himself on the red stone beneath. The cold gaze tests Eren, but he sighs before answering. "I just.. wanted the light out," he replies, gasping lightly.

Palming himself up the wall, he steadily gains height over his superior. _Ten centimeters really makes a difference!_ Nonetheless, Eren knows his place and keeps a distance from his Heicho.  
  
"Get to bed," Levi scowled. Eren turns and immediately obeys, not seeking any further conflict. As he begins the short walk back to his quarters, he reaches a hand back to scratch his head. Although it is well past nightfall, he notes that Levi is still fully dressed. Which isn't to say Eren has ever seen the man wearing less than his training uniform, but at this hour, he would have expected something more comfortable. _Definitely not out of character for the Captain,_ he silenced his thoughts with a quiet sigh.

After flopping on his mattress in a huff, he realizes the room is dark, aside from his bedside candle. He sent a smug grin towards the hallway as he happily burrowed back under the dense covers.

 _..._  
  
Sleep comes easily to Eren, as always. He finds himself fading in and out of a lovely dream where his mother approaches him. She's drifting around their kitchen, her dress swaying around her ankles. She's saying something kind with a warm smile, but her words are soft and far away. He strains to hear through the deafening noise that is shaking their home. Something.. Like the tread of a slow moving Titan nearby. Reverberating?  
  
He reaches for her, but she's slipping away. _No.. Please.._

Sweat breaks out on his forehead as he is shaken awake by the encompassing storm. Eren slits his eyes open enough to look around. His bedside candle is still lit, flickering softly against the basement walls. He squeezes them shut again, his dream still fresh on his mind. This isn't the first time he's been haunted by his regrets, but he can't shut them out. His arm extends up in front of him. _I won't forget. I promise_

He slowly allows reality to flood his vision. Bars cast stretching shadows on his bed as the lightning plays on. He sits up, noticing the missing blankets that surrounded him as he fell asleep. _What the..?_  
  
Majority of the blankets are covering the other side of his bed. He follows the ripples in the material to the pillow next to him. _Is that.._

_..! Levi??_

Eren sits up straight, feeling his stomach tie into knots. He has to double take at the sight of his Captain on the other side of his too small bed. Looking around, they're the only ones there, and his door is heavily locked. Outer most garments and a cravat are neatly folded on the chair in the corner. Eren blinks, trying to sort out the scene, but is stumped.

 _He must have gotten comfortable, but.._ His Captain was all but covered under the thick blankets-aside from some dark hair and a shoulder that were left uncovered. _Why is he shaking like that?_  
  
Eren sighed in relief, the initial shock subsiding. Whatever the reason, Levi is here. _Not to mention, he's using all of my personally picked, thick blankets._ His eyebrow twitched in agitation. _Those are hard to come by.._

"Heicho," Eren cautiously nestles Levi's bare shoulder. His Captain stops shaking, but offers no other response. "Levi, are you alright?"

Besides the cold shoulder, still nothing. *eye twitch* _He's obviously awake by the lack of shaking, but is he ignoring me?_  
  
Eren gets smart and rips the covers off of Levi, immediately rolling over the opposite way, burrito style. He learned from camping with Mikasa that if he is going to do something stupid, he has to be prepared for retaliation! _Brace for impact!_  
  
He feels Levi sit up and silently cries to himself with solid regret. _Mikasa~ help~ I'm Titan breakfast.._ For a long pause Levi makes no hostile movement. Actually, no movements at all. Eren hesitantly rolls back over to see Levi sitting up.  
  
_Wow._ By the light of his candle, he could make out Levi in his undershirt and boxers, resting one arm on his knee, his head cocked and looking away.  
  
_Just. Wow.._ "Uh.. Levi Heicho," Eren stumbles for words, fidgeting with the sheets between them. "Y-You.. Ah, didn't respond. You're in my-" Eren stops, caught in Levi's gaze. The orange glow revealing glossy, and obviously exhausted, gray orbs.  
  
"Levi.." Eren's heart drops, and picks up pace at the same time. How this man can cause his own face to heat up too often during the day is usually beyond him, but.. _Those eyes,_ Although his superior looks to be in pain.. _They are breathtaking._  
  
Levi lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. "I have to keep an eye on you, you're my responsibility." He turns to the young man with an almost soft expression, "but it's your responsibility that I stay sane enough to do it, brat.."  
  
Eren just sat there, trying to piece together his Captain's words. "Heicho, I don't understand. You ha-" The storm rocks their stony castle while Eren brings his attention to the vague conclusion as to why his superior is in his bed. Levi turned away from him, shaking once again, harder.  
  
"Levi." Eren's face warms, again. _Is he.._ Eren tries to reason in his mind, but he can't place why his superior would be so afflicted by the weather. "Shut up," Levi responds, predictably.  
  
They sit there for a moment, suspense caught in their silence. He can't deny the sight in front of him, and honestly, he's glad that his Captain finds comfort in the basement. _Or.. Is it with me?.._ He mentally slapped himself; _that can't be the case.._ He felt the weight on his heart increase as he took a steadying breath.  
  
"Levi," Eren finally turns away to hide his growing blush from the sinful man, "I don't care if you sleep here, but.." he pauses looking for words. "Just.. don't sneak in here in the middle of the night. It's kinda creepy."  
  
Apparently that was enough resolve for Levi. He silently lifted the covers and laid down again. Eren turned back and noticed Levi was much closer to him, but had also returned some of the covers. Facing opposite his Captain, he trailed back to sleep.

**_Levi's POV_ **

He could feel his heart racing in his chest as his subordinate gently laid his hand on one exposed shoulder. He felt Eren getting closer to him. _Fuck.. Good job, Ackerman._ The raging thunder outside seemed mute compared to his roaring thoughts. _He won't understand.. I'm so fucked. If Pixis catches wind of this.. Shit._  
  
Levi felt a rush of cold air as his body was immediately deprived of its warmth. _Guess the brat deserves some explanation. Damn it.. this had better fucking work._  
  
Eren rolls over slowly, probably anticipating an order to do laps around the the tiny room. Suppressing the urge to bark commands, Levi runs his fingers through his hair. He has to choose his words with purpose, or Eren won't accept it.  
  
He calmly notes that his sanity is linked to his responsibility to Eren. Hopefully that truth will suffice. But he noticed that Eren didn't start doing push-ups.. _Hn, He needs to learn more discipline for-!_  
  
He wills his body to be still, but his mind is pulling him to a dark place. He closes his eyes tight, watching sheets of rain coat their bodies. He feels his knees hit the mud before he focuses on their bloodied faces. _**NO!**_  
  
His own voice echos louder in his head than the cry of a starved Titan. _I.. I can't be alone tonight.._  
  
Eren finally agrees to his company, and his muscles relax enough to carefully grab the blankets. He crawls back under the covers and searches for Eren's familiar body heat. He finds him to be comforting. He isn't like others. Eren is dutifully passionate and disciplined, just like him. More importantly, though, _he is still pure without regret._  
  
He begins the steep descent into slumber with a hidden smile. _He's here. I don't have to be alone tonight._  
  
_... to be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!! The final part of Chapter 1 will be posted tomorrow, since I have it written up, anyways!! YES, this is finally getting to the good stuff, past the fluff. HEHEE~!  
> I know this is the section you've been waiting for, so thanks for your patience!! XX


	3. Dark Till Dawn: Part 3

# Finding The Fight

##  Chapter 1

##  Dark Till Dawn: Part 3

  


Eren let the familiar scent of the damp forest fill his lungs before he allowed his eyes to open. The scent of rain-soaked pine drifted around the room, inviting the calm morning to rise. He slowly opened his eyes to the beginning colors of daybreak dancing in from the hallway. He would have to lay around a while longer, it was too early to be awake.

He took another deep breath and tried to roll over, but instead, covered his face with silky hair. _Weird. Has my hair really gotten this long?_. He reached his hand up to brush the strays and realized that wasn't his hair. He looked up to find Levi half stretched over him.

His heart nearly stopped in his chest, _right there._

He felt a slender leg wrapped tightly around his own, their hips grazing each other's. He cleared his vision and nearly gasped in adoration. He is face to face with his sleeping Captain. Eren's breath caught in his throat.

His immediate reaction should have been to jolt away to the training fields to do apologetic laps. Absolutely _nothing_ about this seemed like proper conduct with his superior.

But he didn't move. Or rather, he didn't want to.

He could see Levi's soft lips, more plush than usual. His eyes looked as if he had never lost a night of sleep. Eren delicately tangled the straight hair in his hand while all the weight on his heart dissipated from its supposed home, there.

He seemed so perfect. This seemed perfect.

His Captain has always been so strong and absolute in front of Eren, never allowing his façade to falter.. but this contradicts everything.  
This man is cool to the touch, and somehow his skin is so soft under the obviously tight muscles. The smaller frame fits perfectly against his, and Eren appreciates the view.

_What made you come here, last night, Levi?_

Drowning in the moment and risking a closer embrace, he gently pulls Levi's body closer to his. Immediately his effort is welcomed by a tight squeeze back and a twitch. Eren could feel his own cheeks spark a wild shade of red as his Captain's length responded against his side. He was inclined to bite his lip when he heard the accompanying, and utterly sexual, moan.

His head was now effectively spinning. He wouldn't have imagined this would be his reality in any life time, but this was too good to be a mere dream. He smiled into his Captain's hair, treasuring the moment for all it was worth, when he felt the bed shift.

One moment he was holding Levi's head next to his, the next, Levi had shifted positions to straddle him. Eren froze. Both his arms were pinned with one of Levi's hands, above his head. Eren couldn't react to his sudden burst of strength, his full attention was focused on the man all but overpowering him. Levi's eyes were covered by his hair, but that couldn't hide the sinful smirk on his lips. He leaned down slowly and whispered deep into Eren's ear:

"Don't wake me up like that, Jaeger. That's an order."

The words slid off of his tongue in a devilish way that only promised a painful fate, but Eren couldn't resist his next move. He tilted his head back and to the side, forcing Levi to back off enough to see his face. Eren fully knew what he was doing, and anticipated the reaction. He raised his eyebrow and felt a smile curl onto his lips before responding:

"Yes, Captain."

Before he had time to breathe in, Levi's lips encased his. He moved expertly, creating a rhythm of rough movements that guided Eren's jaw to dance under his. Feeling his shorts tighten in restraint, he lifted his hips to allow more release, but refused to take his focus off of Levi's lustful haste.

His captain's tongue pushed against his lips for entrance, and Eren heartily granted it with audible excitement. Levi gained dominance over his mouth, moaning deep into the desperate breaths of his subordinate. His free hand tangled in Eren's hair, while his hips applied just enough pressure to excite Eren's senses.

_This can't be happening. Why would Levi- _his thoughts were cut off by a hard grind to his groin.__

"Fuck!!" Eren moaned loud and breathlessly, foreign to his own ears.

"Careful," Levi pried, "or I might take that as an order." Eren didn't care why it was happening at all, he was just so happy to wake up to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!! Finally got the best part posted!! So, I MAY have posted this earlier than expected!! Honestly, though, it was just too much fun to write.  
> *snickers*  
> Depending on commentary and such, I left it open so that I COULD continue, but as of now, this is it. Thank you so much for reading!! XX


End file.
